My Only Treasure

 

  I just love this song.  I found it from youtube.

Piggy Banking

I must admit I am facing a financial crisis.  Loans are surging, pockets shrinking but my body is still the same.  I am single at 32  or shall i say penuriously single.

It started when our internet business subsided and bills were the same.  I had to loan from the cooperative to help my father pay either the car mortgage, land tax, car insurance or for family projects and my laptop.  I never regretted it because it helped us a lot.

Having a loan however is like Pringles.  "Once you pop, you cant stop." So im getting less from my salary because the proceeds goes to the cooperative, my partner in life hehe.  Well,  I must do something or I will end up a spinster.  Because who wants to marry a penniless woman?

I called my aunt today to ask for advice regarding my project.  She hesitated and asked, "Are you finally getting married? Why do you want to raise pigs?"  I wonder if I sounded desperate on the phone.  Our house helper, Gen-Gen became irritated because every time I called her name I would tell her over and over about the details of my hog dispersal project or how she would like to participate.  So she would say, "pigs again?" Hehe I never stopped talking about the pigs.   I told my staff at work about what our helper said and I started to blab about the hog dispersal project and she just commented, "Ma'am no wonder your helper complained."

I miss my father.  Whenever he had something in mind, especially a project,  he never stopped talking about it and we planned thoroughly. 

I hope God will bless this endeavor.  This is one of my wishes in Wishing God's Wishes.  Not only will I earn money, my partners will earn too and it will help them alleviate their financial situation.  I will just buy the piglets and have 4 or five people raise them.  The conditions will be that my partners will feed the pigs and we will divide the profit after three months that it is sold in the market.  Its really not a bonanza.  It will not generate a whole lot of money but at least I earn an extra income other than my salary. 

I hope this is not the beginning of an end or the end of the beginning.  I am banking on my piglets.

Oink!

Hopeful

A few days ago, I was in cloud 9 dreaming about the man I want to spend my whole life with.  I was about  to hold his hand when I woke up and his hand vanished.  Not long after I published my post,  I also felt  like I just fell 9 steps from the top of the stairs when what I was hoping for turned out to be a mere wishful thinking. 

Maybe I am just a dreamer.  I keep my hopes up and believe that something good can still happen.  Not because I am good or I possess something extraordinary in me but because I hope for God's grace.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Yet,  God's grace can take the form of something we do not expect to see or happen.  Sometimes it takes in the form of a failure or a heartache that simply opens our eyes of what we ought to achieve first before we acquire what we dearly wish for.  

Today,  I started to read the Bible again and heard the Sunday Mass.  I realized I only regarded God mostly as my Friend  rather than as God and Savior.  Yes He was always my Savior and my God but I always talked to Him as a friend.   I remembered just how good God has been to me and I remembered and felt how I dearly love Him as my God.  With my personality,  I wouldn't live long without His grace.  But His word on the Bible gave me hope each time I read. 

I did not become a nun or a missionary.  I don't also know how to be a faithful servant but I know my life has only one purpose - to love God and share God's love to His people.  I heard His message for me today: that I should never be lazy to do good works.  I should never be lazy to pray and praise the Lord.  So it shall be done.  My father used to think I was a hopeless case but as Trina Paulus said,  "There's Hope for the Flowers." 

In a Nutshell

I am back in my old self again.  I am selfish with my time.  I am always late for work and my reports are all delayed.  I am just so stubborn.  How can i not focus? Is it so hard to do what is right?  I am lazy even to pray.  Am i even human?

Despite my sinfulness and my unfaithfulness to God, He never stopped making a way for me to return to Him.  Last Saturday, i attended a gathering of catholic parishioners to campaign against the Reproductive Health Bill and attended a meeting of Family and Life Apostolate.  I realized I finally became a member in a church organization.  I never imagined myself to be part of the parish's activities.  God really made an effort to bring me back to Him. 

I admit, i faltered.  I returned to my shell.  I became lonely.  I know it was never an excuse for my mistakes.  I neglected my job, myself and my God. 

Lord, forgive me.  From now on, I give you my hand.  Please lead the way.

Missing Papa

I feel utterly lonely these past days.  I feel so alone and sad.   Can this be an old maid's symptom? 

I miss Papa so much! I remember him especially during All souls' day when we go to cemetery to visit my relatives' graves. 

Papa used to drive the whole Paglaum family to Talisay with the two widows, four old maids and 3 young adults tightly packed inside the Mitsubishi Adventure.  In some years, when money was tight, we would hide away in Bacolod to escape the city fiesta and his birthday.  These would no longer happen.  We have to visit him to the cemetery instead.

I think I am feeling more lonely because I am trying to face my life bravely on my own with God as my only true friend.  Well yes i have friends and relatives as support system but it is hard to get over my father's protectiveness sometimes.  I really miss him telling me i should not eat much because its not good for a woman to be fat.  I miss planning with him on how to spend my bonus or get a loan for a project.  Sometimes we just watch tv and talk about family matters.  My papa is incomparable.  He is silent and stern and overly protective at times but his ways make me feel how much he values his family.  

As i was struggling on the treadmill, his memories just fill me with longing and sadness.  I remember how he was trying to be cautious with his diet and activities just so he could live a little longer.  He stopped chemo because he wanted his remaining years to be spent happily with us.  But Mama..............how could she.... she must have her own selfish reasons......... she never even took care of him with love.  i should have quarreled with her to take care of papa in his last days  instead of mama taking care of him..With his illness,  papa was the one who was squeezing his brain for every reason and stretching his patience to understand mama's behavior.  

Some good things just come to an end and some stories end bitterly.  It is unfortunate when you are deprived to spend the last moments with your love ones because  some people want to control your last breath.   I just wish his soul will go up to heaven so soon.  Though he will not be with me physically, i will grow old with his memories and teachings in my heart.  

Earth Blues

When you feel that you are walking through life alone, know that there are people who are watching you from afar.  Life is lonely sometimes but it is because this is just a temporary dwelling and our soul yearns to be somewhere with someone in a place where happiness has no end. 

Doing God's work is not easy. Lord please send someone along.  I cannot do this all alone. 

Time

 Time has always been my enemy.  When I was a child I had tantrums in the morning because I didn't want to get up early for school.  This went on till high school, then to college.  I remembered how lazy i was to wake up early.  I was always late for school.  I couldn't count the number of times I fell in line with the latecomers and had a separate Flag Ceremony. In college, my dormitory was just upstairs of one of the buildings of the College of Nursing.  My classmates and dorm mates would yell from below to tell me to hurry and I would scram to the bathroom to wash my face.  It seemed that in every day of my life my father had to drag me to face the world and meet my responsibilities.  Time took my father away from me so soon.  I hated time.  Not until this time. 

Today, I returned to God and prayed.  In the shower, it was like God was talking to me as I was talking to myself and it brought me to my senses.  I do not own my time.  My life, my time, my freedom is not mine.  They belong to God.  The time i wasted and the time i spent well are not mine.  Every appointment that I was late, I cheated not on my time but God's time.  I do not own my life and one day, God will take everything away.  One day, I will no longer see life. I will no longer have free time to be idle, to play, to sleep and think of nothing but myself.  When that time comes, God will ask me to give back to Him the time He gave me in this life.  He will take account of every moment that I lived in this life.  

"There's a time for everything and everything has its own time." It was like a bolt of lightning struck me. So i hurried in my shower.  From then on, I realized the value of timeliness, the value of getting things done on time at its own time.  Time for work must be a time for work, not for games or for personal matters.  I wasted 32 years pampering myself, getting all my whims in doing this and that regardless of the consequences.  No wonder I've grown fat, unsuccessful and poor. 
 

I want to change all these.  Now is the TIME.

The Feast

When I was in Manila after the workshop in Tagaytay, my brother brought me to the Feast led by Bo Sanchez.  He was very popular to me but i have never read any of his articles.  It was Sunday and a Mass was celebrated at PICC after which, the Feast began.  Every moment was touching.  I was so enthralled at how good Brother Bo was as a speaker and realized that prophets really do exist.  There was a band too and it was the third session of the theme Wish: Wishing God's Wishes.  I couldnt believe God brought me there.  It was amazing.  I cried while singing the song Who You Are.  Even before i wished, God has already granted one of my wishes, to hear His message for me, to know what He wanted for me to do with my life.  I wish God would give me a lot of opportunities to go to Manila so i could  attend the Feast again and again.

I feel like i am done with introspection.  What I need now is action. 

Singing in the Rain

The greatest joy in my life so far is learning how to sing!!! yess i can sing! thank you Lord.  Life is so lonely without music.  I can sing but i think only when its a full moon or the angels sympathize my desperate longing to sing well. hehehe at least i can sing, even only under the rain.

I love My Job

Im going back to Tagaytay!!!!

What I Did Lately

1.    I went to chat again and ate and danced.  I revived my love for dancing and i took ballroom dancing lessons with Siony. 

2.    Watched all the episodes of Trudis Liit online and suddenly wanted a child of my own. 

3.    Submitted reports and straightened my casefiles for the coming audit

4.    Cooked fried pork but it tasted bland though i seasoned it with a lot of soy sauce, vinegar, lemon, salt and sugar.

5.    Seasoned fried rice and pochero.  Hmm i really know how to cook now.

6.    Gen-gen our helper went home for 4days and only mama and i were alone with all the house chores. 

7.    Rummaged our store with sweets, chocolates and junk foods.  Hehe well yeah-guilty.

8.    Organized tree planting activity for clients

9.    Oh the memorable days were when we went to clients' houses for supervision and monitoring and of course to let them sign the new treatment plan

10.   Had a pedicure and still had my toe swollen. 

11.   Enjoyed the saucy pancit canton :)

12.   Played games and played games on my phone.

13.   Tried to jog in place and it felt good to sweat out.

14.   Added reallly good music on my phone.  God thank your for music and for our senses.

15.   Believe it or not, i prayed the rosary but failed to hear mass on Sept. 8. 

16.   Made a monthly budget.  Took care of finances.

17.   Gradually putting good pieces into my life's puzzle.

U-Turn

Its been awhile since i posted an entry.  Indeed, something mysterious happened.  I was infected with a virus, virus that broke my growing relationship with God.  Social pressures appalled me to thrive for earthly pleasures and i wasted two weeks of my life time to something that was not even worth living for.  Through prayers, God hauled me with his love. I would never want to separate myself from Him again.  No more games this time. Nothing could be more precious than time spent on prayers and good works. 

Life is fleeting.  From now on, I will no longer disregard myself.  It is imperative that i should take care of myself in the same way i am helping and taking care of others.  I am now determined in losing weight and in gaining the very thing that i deprived myself the most- confidence. 

Afraid to Work

When you do something, do it as if no one is watching.  God is watching.  He can hear the beating of your heart. 

Working is lonely.  When you lose yourself in your work and you have no one special to go home to and cuddle with or share the itsy bits and pieces of your day, you end up feeling lonely.  I think this is what i am running away from.  I am afraid of being lonely, afraid of crying.  My nose is not fit enough for crying anymore. I get motivated when i am working in a group but on my own i always end up in a slumber.  Is this such an incurable disease?

What am I so afraid of?  Let me remember my favorite Psalm. 

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation, who shall i fear?

The Lord is my life's refuge, of whom shall i be afraid?

When evildoers come to me to devour my flesh, they themselves will stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me, my heart does not fear; Though war be waged against me, even then do I trust.

One thing I ask of the LORD; this I seek: To dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To gaze on the beauty of the Lord, to visit his temple.

For God will hide me in his shelter in time of trouble, He will conceal me in the cover of his tent; and set me high upon a rock.

Even now my head is held high above my enemies on every side! I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and chant praise to the LORD.

Hear my voice, LORD, when I call; have mercy on me and answer me.

Come," says my heart, "seek God's face"; your face, LORD, do I seek!

Do not hide your face from me; do not repel your servant in anger. You are my help; do not cast me off; do not forsake me, God my savior!

Though my father and mother forsake me, yet will the LORD receive me.

LORD, show me your way; lead me on a level path because of my enemies.

Do not abandon me to the will of my foes; malicious and lying witnesses have risen against me.

I believe I shall enjoy the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the LORD!

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So work as if you are working for the Lord.

Work like you are singing Him praises

Your effort though it is unseen

Will be greatly rewarded both in heaven and on earth.

Today, Tita Nina sent me a message: " A person that has a happy spirit doesn't easily get tired and is always disposed to do good.  We've been created for a greater purpose so we should never allow ourselves to fall into things that remove the kindness from our hearts.  Keep a happy spirit!"

Managing My Existence

Each of us is appointed by God as manager and steward of our own life and of the environment we live in. Even if we opt to be more of a follower than a leader, we are still responsible for ourself, our future.

Human life is like a business establishment that you have to protect and nurture. Every transaction that you make has a corresponding value and outcome in your growth as an individual. If you are negligent, lazy and careless then you are bound to fail. If you persevere and work hard, you may likely succeed.

In the first month of my self-probation program, I realized that everything has its own worth. If you value your career, your soul, your body and your relationships, then you cannot afford to take things for granted or entrust your success in the hands of another, much more a stranger.

In my 32 years of human existence, I grew up pampered with nanny and housekeeper to clean up my mess, cook and obey my insignificant commands. I was never really compelled to work or learn some of the household chores. My family is not well endowed but my father ensured to provide us with all our needs and make our life comfortable. Without proper training and experience, i grew up ignorant of my own responsibilities. I didnt know how to fold a blanket so when i took up nursing, it was a nightmare for me to wake up early on my own, keep things neat and cope up with the requirements. In other words, i failed. Well,i failed partly because i joined a fraternity which took a lot of my time and attention. Most importantly, I failed because of lack of motivation.

Even at my age, i often find myself depleted with inner drive and inspiration. I cannot decipher the logic of work especially when i am alone. Sometimes motivation becomes so rare that it feels like an oasis in a desert once i feel it in my veins.

With nowhere to go and no one to help me, I prayed. I realized it is in my prayers that i encountered the virtues and the motivation that i longed for. That there is only one source of all goodness and that is God. He is the richest and most powerful in every existent universe. All you need can be obtained from His grace. Only when you receive His grace. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be given to you." It's as simple as that. There's no room in heaven for idlers and lazy bums. Besides, it is for your own welfare. Why settle for silver when you can have gold?

Stuck

There are so many things i want to do and a lot of things need to be done. I am pressured. The performance audit is seven days ahead and i have not browsed on my files yet.

During the long weekend, instead of working on my report, I just sat back watching tv and spending time outdoors bonding with my old friends and relatives. God please help me i am tensed. I am anxious and its getting on my nerves. I planned on saying a lot of prayers, hoping to be blessed with my supplications. Yet i found myself tinkering with my Galaxy. Yes! i now have a smartphone, a Samsung Galaxy. Its amazing. But my bills are amazingly soaring high too. It seems I am being stuck on a plateau. I am again becoming stagnant, curling in my stinky shell, missing out on life.

I dont want to fail again. I dont want to be stuck. It is selfish to hide when you can bring sunshine into other people's lives. I want to pass the audit and aim for excellence. My cellphone is not my life. I have a life to take care and manage. One person from catholic match said that becoming the best person you can be is one way of giving honor to God.

Ok I will do it. I am getting out of my box.

Life is Difficult

Life is beautiful but it is no bed of roses.  It does not guarantee a lifetime of happiness.  Life will not be complete without a spice of adversities-adversities that range and stem from minor setbacks, hardships, onerous tasks, lack of resources to a number of unfortunate events. 

Life is beautiful but as in Therapeutic Community, "There's no free lunch."  or "Life is what you make it." You simply have to toil, lift a finger, exert an effort, make some contributions.  Some people are kind and generous but if you long for success, you just cant sit back and watch the events to unfold.  If you are one Lazy Juan who just sits under a tree and waits for the fruit to fall, then you may just spend a lifetime with barely a number of edible fruit to survive.   You miss a lot of great opportunities.  You miss to capture beauty and happiness.  

Life evolves and there are competitions.  You may just be unaware but you are competing even with the bats in the air or the ants hidden somewhere. In the movie "The Lost and Found Family, Ellen Bry in her role as Esther said that our life is like a currency that is either spent wisely or wasted away.  Distractions coupled by a lack of discipline can impede your development so you have to spend your time wisely. 

Life is tiring, isn't it? Bombarded with endless tasks from waking up early, preparing for breakfast, getting ready for work, accomplishing tasks amidst environmental distractions, taking care of your self, your family, balancing your finances as well as your time...... a person's life is just so busy ticking every minute. 

So why do you just accept the reality that life is difficult?  You can turn the coin upside down and get a better result.  When you are penniless, remember too that you have assets - your skills, your senses, your body, your intellect.  You are the captain of your life, the master of your emotions and God appointed you to be a steward of His creation.  So the world is yours too.  It is up to you on how to make yourself a significant part of it.

Life is difficult but the burdens are nothing compared to the joy that you get from experiences.  Joys in overcoming obstacles and reaping the fruit of your labor.  Joy in sharing a comfortable life with your love ones.  Indeed, life is difficult but its complexities only make life worth living. 

Reach

Without determination and focus, you will never achieve anything.  Now that you have set your goal, believe you can achieve it.  Set your heart and mind to fulfill it.  Aim for nothing else but your dream.  Look towards your goal and never falter along the way.  Instead, have faith in God's protection and His blessings.  Just focus.. forget the sidetrips.... avoid the temptations.  In a blink of an eye, the pot of gold will be in your hands and all the effort will be worth it. 

Movies

I watched two movies this weekend.  One was "The Lost and Found Family" and the Joneses.  The first one was a really inspiring movie.  I liked it so much that i downloaded it.  Hmm. I refuse to give a review since I have to make my reports now.  Watch it and you wont regret.

Teenage Pregnancy

Second to drug addiction, early pregnancy is the epidemic among the teens in the Filipino society nowadays.  Yes, the number of young girls getting pregnant between 16-21 years old is increasing each year and abortion is becoming a bold option among those with poor spiritual and moral background. 

When i was in my teenage years, there were many temptations, occasions and opportunities to give way to sexual pleasure but what held me back to indulge in pms with my bf then was my great fear of getting pregnant before graduation in college.  Part of me really told me it was spiritually wrong and guilt feelings usually emerged especially when i remembered how my father struggled to raise us three children as a single parent.  No matter how I loved my bf then,  I did not have the courage to ignore those realities.  I also never wanted to be blamed.  Not just blamed but repeatedly blamed for your mistake.   As the eldest among 42 grandchildren and the eldest among two brothers,  i likewise wanted to set a good example.  I did not want the younger generation to follow the footsteps of some of our aunts and take me as a bad model.  Yet, the cousin next to me by age was the first one to become a single mother.  She is now married but she did not pursue her college education. 

Now, two more cousins are pregnant, although the other one is already old enough.  The younger one is so eager to marry and so in love.  Today, she expressed ambivalent feelings towards marriage and cried, as it dawned on her and realized how well her parents raised her and helped to send her to college.

I cannot help feeling disappointed but my heart goes to her and i support her decision whether she will say I Do sooner or later. 

Dimple

Cousins Dimple & Chubby.

Taken at our garage two years ago

My aunt and cousin Dimple came for brunch this morning to discuss about the issue of marriage over  Dimple's early or unwanted pregnancy. As a psychology graduate,  the pressure is on me to give counsel on family members' predicaments.  I never gave Dimple my opinion or expressed my biases over the issue. As a counselor, you can only ask guiding questions to help a person decide on what is right in a dire situation.  As a Catholic, i feel guilty.  As an individual, i feel agitated that i cannot comment, because if i do, i will be responsible if the person heeds your advice. 

Its a pity that she lost her youth at 23. She is pretty, sexy, a promising nurse and we never really expected her to be in this dilemma. Although her fiance is crazy about her and is so eager to marry so soon, sometimes I cannot help but think he planned this to secure Dimple.    I think she is too young to marry and she looks so uncertain, so anxious and unprepared to enter the complex world of marriage. Anyhow, it's her decision to make and i played my part to pave the way for her choices.

Oh God please guide her. I hope i havent said anything that will lead her to the wrong path.

I Did It Again

Pork Menudo - Sliced pork with potatoes, carrots and bell pepper in tomato sauce.

I cooked another dish again! The second real dish i made in my entire life.  Well, I really didnt cook it at first and i did not have any intention to cook today.  When I peeped in the kitchen this morning, our helper boiled some pork and told me she would cook the pork in tomato sauce.  I noticed that she didnt boil the potatoes and carrots so i butted in.  I seasoned the dish with my secret ingredient and voila! Im a Chef!  If Papa was here, he would have been happy and he would be willing to teach me more.  Who would have thought i could cook?

Asthma

 Im barking.

Lying Awake

I cant breathe
I cant sleep
Even if i count the sheep

When you wake
Keep the faith
Life is not a dream

ATTENTION!!!

NO ZOMBIES TODAY

First Fall

I wonder how many falls i have to make before i can completely accomplish my goals.  Okay so i failed.  The reason why i missed to write a new post the past days was my failure to meet my daily schedules.  I was just bothered by a lot of things, especially my finances.  My smart got redirected and soon to be disconnected.  My loan was not released yet.  I was worried if I could still pursue my plan to get an Iphone.  Then I got caught with a flu.  My allergic rhinitis struck me and i ran out of Apple Cider Vinegar.   I had to wake Ng Lucila, our office clerk to borrow her bottle of ACV. 

How i missed Papa so much!  Whenever i was afflicted with asthma or rhinitis,  he knew the kind of care i needed.  He would cook for me a hot soup, compel me to take my meds and remind me to avoid cold water and soy sauce, even chocolate. Though it was painful to gasp for air to breathe, the pain was bearable because he was always there, for me and my brothers.  Ah, i couldnt cry anymore.  My rhinitis became more painful each time i cried.

I guess God had one purpose for me in my father's demise.  He wantedi me to be strong and independent.  I became so dependent  on him in almost everything and i strayed from my relationship with God as my life was so comfortable.  For the same reason, i also lost Donald.  When you give too much of yourself on something or someone, it would not be long when it would be taken away from you provided that you maintain your relationship with the Lord. 

God is a jealous God and too much of everything can lead to idolatry.  From now on, i will forget about men.  I will develop a prayer habit and start from there.  Can tall trees really bend?


http://cid-9e51537c93caa1f1.calendar.live.com/calendar/Katherine's+calendar/index.html

Singled Out

As i grow older, social pressure on the issue of marriage is becoming more intense.  I am still single at 32 and yes i want to get married but i am likewise open to the possibility of single blessedness.  In my age group, people either have 3 children or hurrying to get into the church line for their wedding bells.  I too, sometimes feel that I should race against time and make my last-minute male shopping before my biological clock stops ticking.  However, after several bumps on the road with a few men taking advantage of my predicament, I am finally discerning, why should I let society take control of my future? Marriage is something what we are expected to achieve in order to fulfill the law of nature, but it is definitely not the only matter that is essential in life. 

Last weekend, I attended my cousin's engagement party.  It seemed that two more marriages or wedding ceremonies would be taking place in the clan this year after my brother's wedding last June.  My aunts were fussing me on when I would be getting married, being the eldest among the 42 grandchildren.  They even joked on having me on a raffle draw and that if the awaited day would come, they would give their all-out support and greatly thank the guy for marrying me out. 

On Facebook, my cousin Thersa made a bet with her brother-in-law that she would not be an old maid and that within two years, she would settle down in marriage. 

I remember how I felt so pressured and scared that I would become a spinster.   Out of desperation, i plunged into chat and met a variety of men.  I fell in love with a few and ended up with a collection of broken heart pieces.  The search was definitely not worth it. 

A few years ago, during a reunion with the Pomar clan in Mabinay,  i asked my good-looking uncle why he remained a bachelor at the age of 40.  His response was, "Marriage is a choice." I understood that if he wanted to get married, he could, but took his time to find the right person of his choice. 

Marriage is a vocation.  It is not about time, popularity or status quo.  It is how you will live your life with another person without the prospect of separation.   It is not about shopping for a shirt and throwing it away when you no longer find it attractive or useful.

It is not that I do not want to marry.  I just dont want to be in a haste and end up with regrets.  I believe God has prepared something or someone for me.  What is important now is to constantly live my life in a manner that is acceptable to God.  When you become the best person that you can be, the right man will come at a right time.

Thank You Lord

Baby Steps of Change

I finally made a few steps forward in my quest for change.  This was not about a 360 degree make over but just a revert to my usual ways which i have abandoned when i was stung by the bees of death and heartaches.

I am thankful for the new windows live website.  It is more like Facebook but better because of its calendar features and none of my friends are added yet so i enjoy the privacy.  I think Facebook just turned into a universal mirror that exposes your life to public scrutiny and become a source of gossip to the whos and whats of your social circle. 

Today, i woke up early and accomplished what i have entered on my calendar.  I started my day at 430AM from the usual 7AM regimen.  I prayed, exercised, had breakfast and left at 730 from the house.  Usually when i go on field work, I used to drag myself to the bus terminal at 9 or 10 am and would arrive at my destination during lunchtime.  Well, today, i left at 730 but arrived at 930, which was still manageable and i completed three field investigations. 

Hmmm.   i hope this marks a fresh start and not just a fever for a sudden change of good behavior.  Oh, another great accomplishment i made was i had the courage to breakup with the recent pakistani who pretended to be an englishman.  I am Freee!!!!!!  God really worked wonders in my life lately.  Thank you Lord.

I Can Cook!!!

Yes! I finally know how to cook. This is  my first dish - Sinigang na Manok.   Its a sour soup with chicken, string beans, cabbage, hmmm Tangkong in Filipino and Tamarind mix.   Its absolutely MMMiammiii..  
Thank you Lord for teaching me. 

Crazy in Love

I am crazy in love of finding the right man to love. Out of desperation, i joined a catholic search engine for singles hoping to find my dream husband. Indeed, i found it and it is only but a dream.

I dont know why i am just unfortunate in the love game. I know i am not ugly yet, good men happen to be so rare in my realm. I admit i dont possess the salivating, sexy body but i surely am cuddly and mmiami hehehe.

I recently met someone i thought was a good catch. He met my categories - catholic, never married, intelligent or at least witty, faithful, persistent. Then in the course of our conversation, i found some inconsistensies and oddities in his background. Im glad my investigating skills worked on him and he finally gave in to tell the whole truth about his self. It appeared that he is a great contradiction to what he told me he was. He is divorced with kids. He is not British but Pakistani. He is not wealthy and could not visit the Philippines so easily. He is not catholic.. It seems that everything he said were lies except for the name of his father which is Daniel.

Online dating especially on ym is never reliable. I hope catholic match will bring about God's blessing but everything boils down again to the real truth - true love is not extinct especially when you have polished and prepared yourself to be the right person for someone rather than looking for the right person for yourself.