Hopeful

A few days ago, I was in cloud 9 dreaming about the man I want to spend my whole life with.  I was about  to hold his hand when I woke up and his hand vanished.  Not long after I published my post,  I also felt  like I just fell 9 steps from the top of the stairs when what I was hoping for turned out to be a mere wishful thinking. 

Maybe I am just a dreamer.  I keep my hopes up and believe that something good can still happen.  Not because I am good or I possess something extraordinary in me but because I hope for God's grace.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Yet,  God's grace can take the form of something we do not expect to see or happen.  Sometimes it takes in the form of a failure or a heartache that simply opens our eyes of what we ought to achieve first before we acquire what we dearly wish for.  

Today,  I started to read the Bible again and heard the Sunday Mass.  I realized I only regarded God mostly as my Friend  rather than as God and Savior.  Yes He was always my Savior and my God but I always talked to Him as a friend.   I remembered just how good God has been to me and I remembered and felt how I dearly love Him as my God.  With my personality,  I wouldn't live long without His grace.  But His word on the Bible gave me hope each time I read. 

I did not become a nun or a missionary.  I don't also know how to be a faithful servant but I know my life has only one purpose - to love God and share God's love to His people.  I heard His message for me today: that I should never be lazy to do good works.  I should never be lazy to pray and praise the Lord.  So it shall be done.  My father used to think I was a hopeless case but as Trina Paulus said,  "There's Hope for the Flowers."